During the autumn and winter months, we tend to spend far more time indoors and become acutely aware of the state of our living spaces. Things we completely ignored in the summer can suddenly feel overwhelming and stressful. I want to share a common misconception people often fall into: they begin their decluttering journey by rushing out to buy new storage bins, baskets, and organizers.
I find that the impeccably curated spaces circulating on social media and shows like The Home Edit can be misleading. They make it seem as though the primary goal is having an aesthetically flawless pantry with color-coordinated containers, matching acrylic bins, and precision labels. Don’t be misled: that is truly not what this process is about! The first phase is always releasing excess belongings and letting go of what no longer serves you. That is the foundational pillar of both true minimalism and the KonMari Method™.
You Really Don’t Have to Get It Perfect Right Away
Reading this, you might think: “Michaela, you post beautifully styled, orderly spaces from your own home on social media too.” Yes, I do. But that was a gradual evolution spanning several years. In our initial decluttering phase—and for a year or two afterward—many of our storage systems were simple repurposed cardboard boxes labeled with markers or handwritten notes. Let me reassure you: you do not need to make it picture-perfect right away. Or ever, if aesthetic perfection isn’t your priority.
Working with clients, I have noticed that breathtaking storage displays online often create the opposite effect. Women carrying guilt because their homes don’t resemble an interior design feed sink into self-criticism, telling themselves their space will never look like that. Guilt and harsh self-judgment unconsciously trigger a victim mindset. And someone feeling defeated rarely takes inspired action; instead, they assume it’s an impossible mountain, sinking into self-pity and procrastination. I know this cycle intimately from my own past!
Let’s turn this around. Your home is okay exactly as it is right now. Stop blaming yourself. You are not solely responsible for the entire household. You, as a woman, are not defined by the state of your living space. A home’s condition reflects countless shifting variables and life seasons—including the habits, belongings, and rhythms of everyone sharing it. Perhaps you went through a season requiring more physical items, and your home currently reflects that chapter. Put that invisible weight down. Take a deep breath in, release it slowly, and place a hand over your heart.
I Accept My Home Exactly as It Is
Say aloud: “I accept my home exactly as it is.” Repeat it as many times as you need if you don’t feel it at first. This is not about viewing your home through rose-tinted glasses. You are right to feel that change is needed. But having a disorganized home does not mean that you are disorganized! Do you see where I’m going with this distinction?
Step back into your personal power. No matter what state your home is in right now—even if it feels completely overwhelming—you have what it takes to change it. All it takes is taking action and planning thoughtfully, because it will take some time. And last but not least, persevering. You will notice that after every decluttering session you feel better and experience a deep sense of relief, but never make changes from a place of desperation.
At its heart, this is about accepting ourselves as we are. And surprisingly, we can do that through our living spaces. Even if your home is not yet where you would like it to be, there is certainly something about it you could appreciate right now. Let’s focus on what works and what you love. Take a pen and paper and write it down. That is the only way to bring it into awareness, map out your current reality, and take meaningful next steps—actions driven not by desperation and self-criticism, but by healthy clarity.
My Home
What works:
What I love:
Now that we’ve mapped what works and what you appreciate, write down what feels stuck:
1.
2.
3.
What we could have less of:
Based on what isn’t working, define three manageable next steps:
Action Step 1:
Action Step 2:
Action Step 3:
Once we shed light on something that felt monumental and shapeless, tangible solutions emerge—and they are often far simpler than we feared. You probably uncovered a few answers on your own already, didn’t you?
Above all, stop comparing your home to others! Whenever you feel the grass is greener elsewhere—assuming another household runs like clockwork, stays immaculately tidy, and never feels tension—remember: “That YouTuber definitely has it all figured out. Her home looks effortless, she does enriching activities with her kids, and still finds time to film, edit, and post flawless content. A total superwoman!” Please… We never know the full reality or context behind a curated screen. If following someone triggers feelings of inadequacy, protect your peace and step away from their content.
Bring your focus back home. Accepting where your space stands today is the vital first step of Healing Tidying™. Whatever your starting point looks like—even chaotic clutter and forgotten corners—it is okay. It doesn’t make you incapable or less worthy. They are just objects. And objects can simply be organized and released. We aren’t battling dark forces here! It only asks for patience and showing up step by step.
It won’t cost you money. In fact, if you sell unused items or find misplaced cash along the way, you might even come out ahead financially. But even without selling a thing, what you gain is infinitely more valuable than money:
More space. More freedom. More clarity. More ease. More calm. More harmony. More time dedicated to what truly matters to you.
I wish you every success on this path! If you feel unsure of where to begin, I recommend starting with your clothing.
